DOUBLE DOWN. 6-7-10
Roy Garde.
Whenever Nancy Winslow meets someone for the first time and tells them about having married one of a pair of identical twins she can see the questions at the back of their minds go into scrambling mode as they all try to be the one that gets to be asked first.
The guys usually come right out with something like, “Oh man! Give me a minute to savor the possibilities?” or “Wow! Do you have to be always on guard so that a swap never happens?” or “Are you sure that they’ve never switched – uh – sides in the dark? Or even in the light? Maybe? Ever? Are you sure? How can you be sure?” Whereas the women are usually evasive and stall for time by saying, “Oh, really! Now isn’t that interesting?” or “And where are the two of them right now? I’d sure like to meet them both.” as they muster their thoughts on how they can best get a steamy confession out of her without appearing to be over-eager about it.
She always brushes off their prurient questions – in an effort to stop their next ones from getting to be overly specific – with a smile and an assurance that nothing untoward has ever happened and could not happen because both men have a strong sense of decency and want to do the right thing always. She liked knowing that she could always generate interest towards herself simply by revealing that one fact of her life and she didn’t mind the repetitive nature of what she stirred up because besides having gotten inured to it she was always amused to think what each one of them would say if they knew the truth or even some of it.
* * *
Peter was the name of the eldest twin – older by one minute and forty seconds, whoosh! – and he was already married to a woman named Anna when Nancy walked up the aisle to join the groom, Keith, and the best man, Peter, at the alter where they were waiting with the minister. The two brothers had had the good sense to wear very different colors – a practice that they had followed ever since they’d gotten to be old enough to defy their mother – and the groom was wearing a black tuxedo and Peter a white one.
Obviously Nancy’s journey up the aisle to join the two brothers was to get to marry only one of them but, as everyone knows, good intentions aren’t always enough to keep out the rude intrusions of life as she is actually lived.
* * *
Nancy’s sister-in-law, Anna, had a really attractive face – she looked good wearing any and all different types of hats and there aren’t many women who can have that said about them – and her hair was light brown and thick and it looked best done up in one of those intricate Swedish weaves. Unfortunately, she was close to painfully thin and even when people got to be assured that she didn’t have an eating disorder – one glance at her mother or at any of her siblings, or after seeing how much she loved her food, was all that it took to confirm that – they remained apprehensive about her general health. When they found out that her great-grand- mother was still alive at ninety-seven and weighed eighty one pounds they gave up on speculating and contented themselves with catty conjecture about how her husband would have to be extra gentle with her in bed if he didn’t want to break her bones and about how she couldn’t be all that comforting for him in the winter.
Nancy herself leaned to being amply endowed and because she felt that she could relax her strict diet once she was safely married she consequently filled out and became truly voluptuous rather than borderline after a year or two.
Both women were regularly astonished at the amount of libido that their men sported and, when they became closer and started to share their experiences, they commiserated with each other when they found out that the twins were identical in that aspect too and they were both relieved to know that they weren’t suffering alone.
* * *
The twins’ father had given them only one piece of advice – after the mandatory birds and bees speech that had come at them when they were around thirteen years old and was already too late – and that had been on the morning of each of their wedding days when he told them that the honeymoon was the time to establish the ground rules that would be operative between the sheets from then on because the blushing bride would know very little of the standard procedures and although she’d be a bit dubious and slightly bewildered when accosted with some of the more bizarre practices she’d be eager to learn and clearly the grounding that she was given in that first week would put the husband on a solid footing that he could use, precedent having been set, all through the rest of their marriage.
He finished up by suggesting that it would probably be best, after a few days and nights had gone by, if the bride was properly ‘primed’ into being close to fainting with need, and thus low on resistance, before trying on anything that might seem to be overly exotic.
The brothers had taken his advice and they’d gone so far as to work together to make up an identical routine for use in bed.
The first rule that they’d come up was to insist from the beginning that the only time that their wives could wear anything at all in bed was during the accursed four days of the month when they were menstruating – regarding that, the two guys did more complaining about having to be celibate for a few days every month than their women did about having to suffer through cramps and put up with the inconveniences, and all the rest of it – although, during it, both women would offer to accommodate her man in different ways because they had learned the hard way that, for themselves and for their husbands, an unappeasable erection is a terrible thing to be in bed with. However, blow-jobs were never on the list being offered because on their honeymoons both wives had balked at doing it except when the numbers added up to precisely sixty-nine and that was impossible seeing that the men had zero access to their prime attraction at that time. Even so, it was only when they were desperate for surcease did they take up the offer of, and keep still for, a hand job. The women were so inexpert at doing it that holding still, and not offering an endless stream of commands and pleas, was close to being a traumatic experience for the men.
The men hadn’t dared to try to initiate anal sex on their honeymoons but when they’d been married for a year or so they discussed plans to get it done and they experimented with leaving newspaper articles that discussed the subject, and magazines that had ‘how to do it to please your man’ pieces, lying around where the women would see them and, later, they talked about them with their wives, casually and without any suggestion that they should try it themselves.
They didn’t get any luck at all with that plot so they decided to call on the help of Mr. Smirnoff and they brought the subject up again on a night when the women had drunk too much vodka at a party and when they got home they practiced their favorite love plays on them all the way up to a point where they were literally panting to get penetrated and then they suggested doing it doggie fashion – “Yes, yes. Anyway you like but let’s do it for the love of God” – and had then ‘inadvertently’ made a forced entry into the wrong hole.
There’d been immediate protests sure, but half hearted ones, and when it was over the guys cleaned them up before tucking them in bed and then they held them tight until they fell asleep. In the morning, when their soreness reminded them about what had happened, they remonstrated but not forcefully and, being women and accustomed to being used and abused, they accepted it as a done deal. However, both men knew that seeing that it had been allowed once they’d be able to do it again often or, at the very least, the women wouldn’t be able to dismiss a request for another go at it with, “Are you crazy? Never in life! It’s impossible.”
Both women independently decided to add giving permission to do it that way to their bargaining power arsenal – the men called it ‘the Grecian Formula way’ – and they underlined that power by restricting it to special occasions like; the guy’s birthday; and Christmas and New Year’s Eve; and when some kind of a reward was called for.
* * *
The twins’ parents wanted their children to be close to home when they gave birth to their grandchildren so they ‘helped’ them with down payments on houses and they all wound up living within easy walking distance of each other.
Ever since they’d been very young the twin’s parents had taken them camping often – in nearly all weathers – and after they’d gotten married their children and their in-laws continued doing the same thing although the two new wives had never before been exposed to hiking and camping and fishing trips and the like. They soon learned to enjoy being out in the open country or in the woods or boating on lakes and rivers.
When it had gotten to be time to start a family the two women stopped taking the pill at the same time and found themselves pregnant at the same time too. Nancy’s baby was a boy and Anna had a girl.
When the two husbands found out how much effort and time and sleep deprivation and expense that having a baby entailed they swore up and down and black and blue that the first one was also going to be the last one. Hearing that made their wives very unhappy because they’d set their hearts on having at least one of each kind and the grandparents, of course, were also very unhappy with it because they’d been hoping for around six of them from each household. The old people conveniently forgot that when they’d been in the same position they’d reacted in exactly the same way and the twin’s father especially had been appalled at the amount of work involved and he’d adamantly opposed any suggestion from anyone about having any more kids and he made his wife go on the pill and he read up on their use and he secretly checked to see that she followed the correct regime, and exactly on time, until the years and Nature had relieved him of the necessity to continue with his vigil.
Even so, they constantly dropped hints to their daughters-in-law about how badly an only child suffers and they offered to be ever-ready baby sitters.
Finally the two couples got worn down by them and they agreed to have another baby but they told everyone that they had to understand that that would positively be the last one ever.
* * *
The grandparents didn’t mind a bit when Nancy had another boy nor when Anna had another girl but the four parents sure did. However, there was nothing for it but to soldier on and both mothers thought that they’d get over their disappointment in good time but when the youngest children became toddlers it hurt them both deeply to see them all playing together while knowing that they couldn’t take one of each back home with them.
Nancy and Anna spent lots of time together and they agreed that their lives would never feel complete until they’d rectified the gender anomaly in their offspring and in time they agreed that, even in the face of their husbands’ adamant attitude on the subject, they would have another child if they could find a plan that would ensure that their next ones would be of the correct sex.
There was a long hiatus before everything came together and then they again got pregnant at the same time and there was a whole lot of satisfaction all around when Nancy had a girl and Anna had a boy.
* * *
Nancy was the one who had come up with the formula for success and Anna was the one who’d provided the key element that made it work but the two essential conditions didn’t present themselves until the youngest one of their first two children were over five years old.
* * *
The two mothers stayed home mostly when their first two children were young but the three men continued to do a lot of fishing and hunting and hiking and cross country skiing and snow shoeing.
Peter had followed his father into the banking profession but Keith had a technical bent and so he went to work for a new start-up company that produced soft ware for factory automation systems.
When each child got to be four years old he or she was allowed to join their parents and grandparents on some of their trips into the wilderness and they all loved being able to sleep in tents with the grown ups and help cook steaks and meat stews and hot dogs, etc. over an open wood fire and being allowed to run free all day long.
* * *
As time moved on the grandparents decided that they much preferred to sleep in their own beds every night and from then on they only drove to the campsites when it was possible to park their SUV within easy walking distance and even with that their visits gradually tapered off to perhaps twice in the spring and again in the fall.
There began to be so much equipment to transport, as the kids got older and more demanding, that both families realized that they had to buy vans and when they went shopping for them they found that one brand offered a specially designed model for camping and it had three rows of seats and the rear two rows could be folded into the floor which would then leave room for two single mattresses to be put down side by side on the bed, as you might say, of the van and after trying it out none of the adults wanted to sleep in tents ever again. The two mattresses could be stowed, on the ride to camp and on the way home again, in an attachment that sat on the roof and so that left plenty of room for the tents and the toys and the utensils and the food and drink, and etc., inside.
The theory was that the children would all sleep in the tents and the adults would have the comfortable mattresses to themselves but it turned out that while there was no problem with getting the kids to climb into their sleeping bags at night – they’d be so exhausted by then they’d not only want to go to sleep but they’d have to – invariably, every morning, the parents would wake up with their off-spring in the vans with them. Each child in turn would have come over at a different hour and banged on the door of the van to be let in. They would all say that he or she had been woken up by a scary noise, “maybe a bear or a lion!” and had scooted over to find Mom.
It wasn’t until the third trip in the vans that the adults came up with a solution that solved the problem of getting to be woken up regularly by their kids during the night. They decided to leave the tents at home and to bed all four of the children down in one of the vans and to share the other one themselves. The kids would be over-crowded sure but they dealt with that by assuring them beforehand that it would be fun and they all bought that enthusiastically and outright. Anyway, as every parent knows well, children can sleep on a clothesline when they’re really tired and a little crowding doesn’t bother them much. Other kid’s legs and arms are treated very much like their own.
In the van that they were sleeping in themselves they rigged a line from the center of the rear doors to the bracket of the roof mounted TV set and they draped a sheet over it to give themselves some semblance of privacy.
* * *
Anna had put on weight in her childbearing years and her breasts had changed from ‘pert’ to ‘full’ with each baby and after having had to bulk up for a second time they evidently decided that it would be easier all around if they stayed that way and, also, her belly and bottom retained some choice adipose.
Her husband was delighted because while she had always been attractive she’d become a total knockout along with it.
* * *
When the two women had just had their first babies and were visiting each other’s houses – which they usually did twice, and sometimes more, everyday – they breast fed them in a separate room if the men were around but that eased off with the second ones and the result of that was that both men got to be nearly as familiar with the sight of their sister-in-law’s breasts as they were with those of their own wives but only the baby at hand was much interested in Nancy’s because they’d gotten to be mammoth in size. After the second one was weaned she went onto a strict diet and eventually her bust returned to being merely voluptuous again.
The regular and multiple exposure to mammary glands helped to stop both men’s need to fain indifference in their presence, and having to avoid looking anywhere but at them when they were exposed, and, combined with that, the fact that because the two guys were identical automatically made for a large amount of tolerance in the wives and so, over time and when there were just their families around, the two women progressed smoothly into being able to sun-bathe top-less and they went swimming naked and they eventually eased into being able to change into and out of their clothes no matter which of the others were around. Each year they did it with a token bit of coyness the first few times, to show modesty, but eventually stopped doing that too.
It seemed as if the two men got to be blasé about having all of that naked flesh around but a close observer would have noticed that sometimes one and sometimes both of them would inexplicably jump to their feet and race into the water at somewhat regular intervals unless that observer was another male in which case he would be far too busy ogling the two women because their very different types of attractiveness played off against each other and the cumulative effect was fetching and provocative.
Nancy was big and bouncy and her body fairly cried out to be hugged and smoothed and squeezed before being pummeled, and then wallowed in and on, whereas Anna was slim and her breasts had a kind of aura about them besides being just right in size and her belly was hard and her hip and pelvic bones showed clearly and promised complete fusion and her buttocks were small and round and perfect.
Like all women everywhere who are not under threat the two wives didn’t get flustered with being able to see men’s genitals just by looking that way and never got to understand what made men stay on the alert at all times in the hope of catching a flash of inner thigh and they could never accept the fact that one second after a woman’s breasts, or even just one of them, got to be covered up by a newspaper, or a hand or whatever, and was then exposed again then getting to see them again is just as much a thrill for a guy as the first time that he got to see them and that that goes triple when it came to beavering.
* * *
The first night that the four adults were to sleep together in the van the two guys deliberately drank far too much, when the kids were at last fast asleep, and so when it got to be time for them to retire for the night too they fell onto the mattresses and were asleep in seconds.
At dawn Keith got woken up by his bladder and he had to carefully ease himself out of the van to go to the latrine that they’d dug in amongst some trees.
When he got back there was already enough light for him to see the interior of the van and he looked around the sheet and saw that his brother was pressed up against the wall and had pulled the sheet with him and that that had left space for Anna, completely uncovered, to spread herself out. She was wearing panties but that was all and he could look at her breasts and her taut belly and her haunches all that he wanted. He’d spent hours that afternoon being able to see her but he hadn’t been able to look at her, as she deserved, and what with that and the uniqueness of the situation and the fact that by simply moving his head a little he could look at Nancy’s body too he found that he was harder than he’d been in months and there was no way that it could be ignored and much less wished away.
He moved next to his wife and then kissed her awake and she opened her eyes and started in with the complaining but she stopped speaking when he took one of her hands and put it onto his erection.
Long practice made her able to instantly gauge its intensity and in this case she recognized what her immediate duty as a wife was and so, after listening to assure herself that the other two occupants of the van were fast asleep, she stealthily slipped her panties off and then opened up for him.
His urgency eased away as soon as he’d appeased his erection by burying it deep in its favorite place to hang out and she only had to hold her hand over his mouth during the first few strokes before he indicated to her that he could control his groaning.
He moved slowly so as to not rock the van nor generate any noise by slapping bellies but they both soon entered the familiar zone in which they lost themselves in sensuousness and they both involuntarily started to emit tiny ‘mmmm’s’ of anticipation at the beginning of every stroke and ‘ahhh’s’ of appreciation at the end of each one.
Although they were successful in not causing any noise or vibration that might have woken Peter and Anna they had no control over the stench of sex that was filling the van because the heat in there accentuated the odorous response of Nancy’s inner parts to heavy probing. It was highly pungent and both of the sleepers responded to its earthy primitiveness by waking up in confusion and then, finding that it had primed them while they’d been asleep, they answered the call to arms and Peter got started on the task of stirring up Anna’s juices too.
Peter’s bladder also needed emptying but he knew that it would have to wait because there’s no way that a man can urinate when he’s as hard as a wooden batten so he offered it up to Anna and she knew her duty to him and she also knew, instantly and instinctively, that seeing that the two people on the other side of the sheet were going hard at it there was little point in their trying to contain themselves.
The two brothers fell into synchrony and thus all four of them began to emit their ‘mmm’s’ and their ‘ahhh’s’ in unison and they reached such a state of bliss and abandonment that it began to seem to all four of them that they were all fucking each other.
When the two men had climaxed the two women sought out each other’s hands under the sheet, for mutual support, and when they’d rested enough to restore their equilibriums and the men had fallen away, they found that they liked holding hands and then, because they felt a need to be close, they pulled the sheet down and out of the way and then moved to the center line and they wrapped their arms around each other and they entwined their legs. They experienced something that was almost as satisfying as another orgasm due to having just proved their sisterhood-ness in the down-and-dirty trenches.
Most of the women’s other inhibitions fell away too after that had happened and they never used the sheet again but they left the line where it was just in case.
From then on they all stopped bothering with any kind of clothing after closing the doors of the van at night because without clothes the two men lost their individual identities completely. They accepted that the only logical and practical way for them was to be honest about the sharing that inevitably, and unavoidably, was going to happen and let it happen. Their relationships progressed from that until the love play in the van involved all four players and then it seemed natural and logical, when the time came, that the taking of sides to let the serious part of the game get underway was done on a catch as catch can basis.
Their new ground rules meant for extra excitement for the two women and also, at long last, freedom from having to indulge in furtive and deceptive practices by the twins.
* * *
It seemed to the two brothers that they had shared extra sensory perception as far back as when they were toddlers. It progressed into going far beyond finishing each other’s sentences and they could communicate with each other at a basic level without saying a word and a mere glance could pass a large amount of information.
They first decided to exploit their interchangeability when they were in grade school and all through their education they played off to each other’s strengths in various math and science courses and exams. They learned how to, and did so regularly, study only alternate halves of required reading assignments especially when it was dull going.
They were never the least bit gorky and were attractive too so getting dates wasn’t a problem for them but when they tried to share a girl friend for the first time in high school, for the excitement of it, they got caught out and all the other girls found out about it and thought that it was both weird and creepy and so they’d take steps to ensure that they danced only with the one who’d brung them.
However, as time went on their liking of being given unearned access to a woman who they didn’t know and who only thought that she knew who she was with increased hugely and so they polished their techniques and got to be expert at it. From then on, when one of them was given ‘benefits’ by a new girl friend it wouldn’t be long before she was giving the same ones to someone who hadn’t wined and dined them.
Their expertise extended to – when it got to be time to do a swap – giving his brother an examination for newly acquired hickeys and cuts and, whatever, and then cross-examine him as to whether there were any new developments that he should be aware of and what techniques were they up to and what did she like doing between the sheets and where had they been the night before and what movies they’d seen recently – and like that.
* * *
When Peter met Anna and decided that he wanted to marry her Keith feared that their swapping days were over forever and that seemed to hold true until well after their two children were born and Anna’s figure had become so desirable that it gave Peter bargaining powers.
* * *
Their intricate ploys to get to make a wife-swap happen worked well but it was always on an unsatisfactory, opportunistic, catch-as-catch-can basis and it took a good deal of careful planning each and everytime which was, of course, very necessary because the stakes were so much higher.
That got to be changed radically one glorious Sunday afternoon when their kids – having worked out between themselves that they’d have far more fun with their numerous cousins over at their grandma and grandpa’s house after church than they possibly could have at home – came to them and pleaded to be allowed to do just that.
It didn’t take the two men very long at all to work out an almost risk free plan knowing that they’d regularly have their houses to themselves for five or six hours.
What they did was that on every Sunday from then on – when their two families went to church in their separate cars – the brothers took to wearing similar pants and shirts and ties but very different jackets. Then, when they’d said goodbye to the Minister, they’d take their jackets off and fold them over their arms and then they’d surreptitiously swap them when they got the chance. Each other’s car keys would be in a pocket of the jackets and they’d then slip them on, to ‘establish their false identities,’ and go to the other brother’s car and drive his wife home.
After Sunday lunch it became the practice, in both houses, to stack the dirty dishes and glasses and utensils in the dishwasher so as to not waste any time over doing a chore and then go to bed.
The wives were as eager as the men to make love with no time limits and under no pressure from their kids but, nevertheless, they’d both feel slightly perplexed as they patiently held the various poses that allowed their ‘husbands’ to go on extensive explorations of their private parts because they were the self same ones that they’d ignored, except for briefly using them once or twice, through the week. And why, both women wondered, did her man’s libido grow to be so strong every Sunday afternoon that it brought out the brute-animal-earthy side of him that had seldom before been seen since their honeymoon. “Could it be that there is something in the air of the church?” they’d ask each other as they compared notes. Anna once commented, “Well, if it is I pity the poor Minister’s wife. He must be at her all day and everyday.”
* * *
The twins successfully deceived their women on Sundays for more than two years before Nancy found out about it. She made her discovery in November of the year before they all began to enjoy full and all out intimacy in the van and later she often wondered whether, if she hadn’t found out, whether it would have affected her decision to go along with the others on all round sharing and if it had had any influence, overall, on allowing it all to evolve into general compliance.
* * *
She’d long learned to look forward to having intense get-togethers with her husband after church and, on the strength of them, she often forgave Keith when he selfishly gave her too little fore play before mounting her on weekdays.
On the fateful Sunday that she found out about their deception both Peter’s and her libido had kicked into play in the car when they were on the way home from church and she’d found it difficult indeed to stop herself from doing more than her usual practice of – if he’d, as usual, unzipped in an open invitation to her – reaching over and holding him with her left hand to placate him while driving.
Her first touch told her, without a word being spoken, that they’d have to skip lunch completely when they got home and go straight to bed.
Once upstairs, he got undressed in seconds and then, with an impressive hard-on already, he lay on the bed and he waggled all that he had at her as he watched her expose her body, slowly and ‘artistically’ as usual, and when her breasts came into view he shouted, “Showtime!’ and then sang out, “Da da, da da da, duh. Boom!”
She took off her skirt and because she didn’t want to get it creased she carried it over to be able to drape it over the back of the leather chair that he’d put his pants and jacket on.
His tie was there too, lying on top of everything else, and when she saw it up close she got such a shock that she almost stopped wiggling her ample bottom for him.
Although it was the same basic red color as the one that she’d picked out for him to wear earlier that morning – she’d recently visited a mall that was new to her and she’d inadvertently wandered into a ‘Nothing But Ties’ shop and once in there she didn’t think that she could leave the place without buying one because they had just about every kind that there is and it seemed to be obligatory to choose at least one, because why else had she gone in there in the first place, and because she’d paid way too much for it she wanted him to wear it often – but the one that she was looking down at had swirls of blue in it whereas her present to him had had thin blue slashes.
The ‘possibility’ of duplicitous behavior by the twins, that she’d been warned to look out for regularly on a jocular basis, came past ‘possibility’ in one big leap and became ‘certainty.’ That it was going on, and how it was being done by the simple act of jacket swapping, along with answers to some small queries that she’d built up over the years became clear to her and the knowledge caused her heart to miss several beats and at the same time she got a red-alert in her brain that warned her that she’d better be very careful because she was playing with dynamite here.
She forced herself to bring up reserves of strength and she held herself together enough to murmur something about having to use the bathroom and she hurried over and closed the door and then lowered the lid of the toilet and sat on its furry cover.
“How long had this been going on?” was her first thought. She feverishly thought back to when it was that her children had started going to their grandparent’s house on Sunday afternoons and she worked out that it had began around two years earlier when her youngest had finally stopped needing diapers. So – that meant that the man who was lying on her bed and who had just waved his penis at her and was waiting for her to join him so that he could bury it in her was not only not her husband but he was also a man who had almost certainly done it to her, “Ah, let’s see,” well over a hundred times by then.
When her fury at the audacity of it all had subsided a little it came to her that that number was so large that it was a bit late to protest much because although every one of them had been technically a rape what could she do about it? If she threw him out of her house and then called the police how could she possibly expect them or anyone else to believe that she simply didn’t know that she had been deceived into accepting being raped as being the exercising of conjugal rights by her husband more than a hundred times?
Then she got to the next breathtaking bit: Her real husband was almost certainly, at that very moment, fucking Anna and knowing that made her realize that a rash decision on her part would have twice the consequences. And what about the kids? And all of the grandparents? And her friends and neighbors? What was happening to her was so bizarre that it would probably make headlines for newspapers across the country.
No. No. No.
She saw that she had to be adult about the situation and could do only one of two things. She could send him away right then, after making him apologize, and then get both men to promise to never do it again or she could do nothing and join him on the bed as if nothing was changed and ‘carry’ her secret until she might have a need to use it in the future.
She remembered with intense shame and regret how, for such a long time, she had come to look forward so eagerly to Sunday afternoons and from that she again registered the fact that he’d usually made love with her twice every time – she tried to not register the things that she usually had had to do for him before the second time could take place – and that meant that the number that she’d used had to be doubled. Incredulity swamped her brain again and she hung her head and then it gave way to turmoil and her mind got to be filled with streams of snippets like the bottom line on CNN except that hers didn’t just go sideways they went up and down and diagonally too: “Mother Of Two Screwed By Stranger In Her Bed At Least Two Hundred Times!”; “Illicit Sunday Assignations Were Carried Out Directly After Church On Hundreds Of Occasions!”; “Did Both Adulterers Go To Evening Services To Be Able To Confess Their SINS That Had Been Done While The Afternoon Services Were Being Held?”
And then came another revelation – “God in heaven! His, no their, last birthday had been on a Sunday two months earlier and I must have let this one do it to me in the Grecian Formula way! And, oh my God! Did any of his other birthdays fall on Sundays and what about Xmas and New Year’s and Mother’s day? Doesn’t bear thinking about.”
Some other considerations came at her fast and furious and made her throw up her hands in despair and she said, “Good Jesus! What a mess! – Well now, what about the kids? – how do we manage that? – everybody outside the family will think that it’s hilarious – we’ll be the laughing stock of the whole county – this will kill my Mother – what a stupid bitch I am – how could it have gone on for so long without my finding out? – Well now, what we’ve got here is an ordinary affair but without the sneakiness and the messiness – it’s adultery without the usual risk or the furtiveness – can two men really be alike enough to pull it off for so long although there is that penchant that only of them, this one, has for caressing my bottom – Jesus! Yes, he also likes to kiss it a lot more than Peter does. Jesus! That should have told me – Well, thank God for the pill – two hundred times at least! – Oh! Poor poor Mother – – – – – – – – – ”
And then her body made itself heard with the decisiveness of a chief executive.
It said, “Stop this self-punishment right now!” and the order filled up her mind and left no room for anything else but she soon became aware that her legs had, completely involuntarily, opened up so that she was straddling the toilet and her upper body was leaning forward, which brought her center forward and lower and closer to the furry lid cover, and her hips were moving back and fore so that her vulva was being massaged by the fur and the rim of the hard lid under it.
She well knew from experience that she was so far gone already that if she slipped her hand down she could make herself come in seconds and she was sorely tempted to do so but then came another executive directive – “Forget about that. There’s a genuine, beduine, rock-hard dick on the other side of that door. Go and get some of it for yourself even if it’ll be wrong for the two hundred and first time.”
At that she gave up and weakly decided to comply so she reached back to push down the lever on the toilet and then she stood up and turned on the faucets to make him think that she was washing her hands and she leaned on the sink and looked in the mirror.
In it she saw a lust crazed woman who was breathing through her mouth, and had the tell-tale flushed face and vacant eyes and slackened mouth, and she realized, for the first time in her life, that women can show blatant lust just as surely as men can. She wasn’t quite slavering but was close to it.
She turned the water off and then she reached for some toilet paper to pat her center dry for him but then she found that she didn’t want to do that and so she didn’t.
She opened the door and went into the bedroom and, to divert his gaze from her face, she waved her arms in the air as she sashayed across the room and she made everything that she had that could bounce do so as she sang, “Showtime! Duh-duh, duh-duh-duh-duh. Boom!”
She went over and sat down on the bed next to him and before her bottom had so much as touched down she felt his hand on it – as was usual on Sundays.
She followed protocol and she lay on her back and opened her legs so that he could enjoy a little introductory ‘dry run’ but he didn’t get it because, after being offered up by him and guided in by her, his penis went all of the way into her with zero effort.
Gravity alone was easily enough to get the job done and it had gone in there as fast as a rat up a drain pipe or, as he’d once heard some guys in a bar say, “like a sailboat under the Verrezano bridge at low tide” or “like poking it into a horse’s collar” or, the one he preferred, “like a bus going into the Lincoln Tunnel on a rainy day.”
He was decidedly unhappy about that, it wasn’t what he was used to nor what he wanted, and he said, “What the f – ” but his complaint was cut off because having him fully inside her was exactly what Nancy wanted and she grabbed his buttocks to keep him in place and then she gave her hips and her vaginal muscles carte blanch to exploit the situation.
Peter had the good sense to keep still because although what was happening was new to him he realized that she was trying to deal with a need of her own that was a good deal more urgent than his was.
He felt her use the resilience of the mattress to get to be able to do some hip swiveling and to move up and down on him for maybe a half of an inch each way and he felt her insides nibbling and squeezing along the whole length of his member.
She strived mightily and managed to make it happen and then she endured the ecstasy at the pinnacle and then she reluctantly eased her way down again and, after a short rest, she found that there was still a need and so she repeated the whole procedure and that time she became satiated and could stop clutching at him.
He’d been made even harder by what she’d done for him, and what he’d seen in her face as she was doing it, and, when he could, he tried to get on with finishing it for himself but after one experimental full stroke he stopped and withdrew because not only could he not feel the sides in there, because she was so wet, but she was totally inert too from having given herself all that she could deal with and so he knew that it wouldn’t be good for him and would be wasted on her and thus a terrible loss for them both. While he was waiting for something to resolve itself in his favor he contented himself with cupping her magnificent breasts and nibbling on her ears.
When she was fully back down on earth she realized that he’d been kind to her and was waiting for her to regain her composure, which was obvious because he was still as hard a baton, and so she reached up to massage the back of his neck to let him know that she knew it and was reconciled to doing whatever was called for.
However, at the back of her mind was the feeling that she should make him pay for his years of deceitful behavior, and in an appropriate coin, and so she whispered to him, “Keith, darling. We’ve got all afternoon so let’s do everything that we know. Please?”
As he began to kiss her bottom in ever decreasing circles her motherly duties kicked in and she said, “I promised the kids that I’d make a pot roast for dinner today but it can wait until tomorrow, I guess. We can make do with a salad and an omelet tonight.”
Hearing that made him furious and so he drove into her savagely and she was able to catch him off guard on his next stroke – because he intended to hurt her with it to spite her for her irrelevant remark which was akin to the worst one of all, “The ceiling could use a coat of paint, dear.” – and by squeezing herself closed at precisely the right split second she made him tear his foreskin which put an effective end to the proceedings, there and then.
However, she didn’t tell Anna about being deceived because she was scared that she might not react as mildly as she had.
* * *
The next June, when both couples had bowed to nature’s reality when in the van, and had come to terms on allowing open intermingling, both brothers reveled in taking turns to check out the ample charms of Nancy but they both always wanted to finish up in Anna because she’d taken up the habit of wrapping her legs around the one who was with her and using them to aid him which made every one of her couplings memorable and satisfying and fully draining.
Nancy’s thighs were way too big to let her try the same thing.
Both brothers knew that Nancy’s feelings had to be considered and that she wasn’t to be allowed to even guess that they had a preference. When all of their extended and integrated foreplay was coming to an end and the Signal to the Fleet changed – which was as palpable in the van as is the ‘squaring of shoulders’ signal that the water in a kettle makes when it’s coming to the boil – from ‘General Chase’ to ‘Engage The Enemy More Closely’ it got to be time to do their penultimate maneuver, which was invariably ‘sixty-nine’ because it had proven reliable for adding a degree or two of passion to the mix for them all over the years, and after doing that until the incoming signal had changed to ‘Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead’ the one who managed to be first to push his middle finger into Anna became the victor.
When that was decided their inherent ‘sense of decency’ came into play and the protocol that they followed was that until Nancy was reacting properly to the pounding that she was being given Anna wasn’t to be fully engaged in getting fundament-filling action. After that nature saw to it that the ladies got to climax within a few seconds of each other and then they could hold hands to soothe each other and commiserate about their gender-decided lot.
Inevitably, and ironically perversely, after some time both women took note that Nancy always got the most urgent of the two partners but no resentment got built up because Nancy figured that it was because her partner couldn’t wait to get on with it and get it done ASAP and Anna figured that own her partner wanted to slow everything down to be able to savor her charms for ALAP.
After a few week ends Anna copped onto the significance of the scrabbling hands in the competition to be the one who was fingering her after the penultimate general signal got changed but she wisely kept the information to herself.
* * *
As often happens when women see a lot of each other Anna and Nancy’s menstrual cycles gradually converged until they ran their courses concurrently and when their husbands found out about it, as they did very quickly, they weren’t a bit happy because they knew that sometimes it would spread over a precious Sunday and that would make them feel very deprived indeed.
One month that did happen and ‘it’ began squarely on a Friday and they felt dejected about it on the Saturday and thought that it was, at best, a cruel joke by nature but then, on the Sunday, they thought of it as being a despicably-bloody-minded-act of the devil himself.
There was little point in going through their clever sports jacket swapping routine on that day because they’d found, over the years, that one dutiful hand was very much like another and they knew that neither of the women would stoop to doing fellatio unless they’d already been transported out of their dislike of doing it by being eaten up themselves until they were in a ‘My oh my! D’you know what? I’m right on the edge so don’t you dare stop’ state which was, obviously, impossible to get done at that time.
However, it so happened that the two women being ‘out of commission’ at the same time was responsible for triggering a huge change in their lives.
* * *
On a Sunday morning that the two women’s menses once again spread over the weekend Nancy had had to get up from her bed to go to the bathroom and when she removed her tampon she found it to be still pristine and she was happy to see it because by then – four long days and nights of going without which came at the end of an equal amount of time during which her husband had been away on business – she needed to have some satisfying sex almost as badly as he did.
So, instead of pulling up her panties she took them off altogether, and her nightgown too, and when she got back in bed she made Keith aware of the fact that they were back in business by reaching for one of his hands and placing it at her center. She didn’t have to wait long for a response and they indulged themselves so much, and extended it for so long, that it made them late for church.
Anna, on the other hand, wasn’t woken up by her bladder and so by the time that she found out that the curse had been lifted it was too late to celebrate with Peter.
In church, when Keith was making his way to the family pew, Peter saw that his brother was loose and at ease and when he got there Keith saw that Peter was badly in need of relief and so, after the service, when Peter gave him the let’s-go-ahead signal it meant that they had to go through with their usual maneuver of changing jackets and cars and so he did so even though he felt so relaxed and so empty of libido that he thought that he wouldn’t mind not having sex ever again.
After lunch, safely locked in her bedroom with Peter, Nancy gamely and stoically suffered through his onslaught because she was still sore from that morning’s pounding by Keith and she had to do more faking than ever before in her life because she was already fully replete and only wanted it all to end.
Things were by no means felicitous for the two participants who found themselves cozied up in the other, equally illicit bed, either
Anna badly needed to have a whole lot of imaginative and personalized and then savage sex whereas Keith wanted to take a nap if anything.
He recognized her need and her legitimate demands and so he politely went through some preliminary motions but his heart wasn’t in it.
The only sure fire method that he knew that satisfactorily substitutes for actual penetration of a woman is being expertly eaten all up and so he moved into the sixty nine position – he stayed on top to have more control – and he poured a lot of effort into servicing her.
Anna suspected that she’d have to settle for that alone when she found out that no matter how hard she tried at her end her efforts weren’t doing the job for him – he stayed depressingly difficult to work on because he only got to be half hard – so she craftily concealed her first orgasm to ensure that there’d be another one, at least, delivered to her the same way and soon.
The second one was pleasing for her and it was drawn out and so she was able to both enjoy it and, while it was on-going and dependable, look around and study the topography, as you might say, and she was intrigued to see that Keith’s right testicle – which, with its twin, was tea-bagging her – was hanging a half inch lower than the left one. That interested her because whenever she’d seen his scrotum up close like that before he had always been hard and his balls would always be drawn up equally and pulled in against the base of the shaft.
Obviously she was surprised about never noticing that detail before and she decided that an investigation was in order. Surely, she thought, they should be symmetrical on all men but she knew that she’d have to confine her investigation to the two men who shared her bed and her body.
The next morning she made time to Google ‘Testicles’ and after struggling through pages and pages of medical jargon and other irrelevant information she happened on the fact that better than eighty-three percent of all men carry their left testicle lower than their right one. When she’d stopped marveling at the fact that there was a difference at all the figure, 83%, came back to her and she thought that maybe she’d inadvertently found a way to put her grand plan into play at last. She was well aware that she was dealing with identical twins so she didn’t let herself get her hopes up too far.
Peter didn’t make a move on her until Tuesday night as they were going up the stairs to bed when, as was usual for him, he suavely signaled that he wanted some action between the sheets by slipping his hand up her dress and squeezing her ass. She’d been looking forward to getting a chance to carry out her investigation and so when they got into their bedroom she eased away and got out of his reach and she switched a side-table light on. Then she took off her blouse and her bra, to assure him that it was soon going to happen for him, and then she faked a need to go to the bathroom and she slipped away.
She took the rest of her clothes off in the bathroom and when she re-entered their bedroom she switched the overhead light on as if to draw attention to herself as she pirouetted around the room lewdly. She figured, correctly, that he wouldn’t read anything significant into her forgetting to switch the big light off again when she’d joined him.
When she was lying next to him she let him move in on her but before he got too into it she pushed his head away and asked him to please deal with the glaring overhead light.
He good naturedly slipped out of bed and walked over to the switch and then rejoined her.
As he walked back to her she saw that his left testicle was clearly hanging lower than the right one.
* * *
The next morning, after waiting impatiently until both men had gone to work and the children had caught the bus to school, she went over to Nancy’s house and when they both had some coffee at hand she told her what she’d found out regarding their husbands’ anatomies.
Nancy got the import at once and they went to work on a plan right then and they came up with a viable one before their coffee got cold.
They agreed to stop using the pill as soon as they’d purchased diaphragms and then they’d wear the devices at all times but when they were sure positive that the one who was about to enter them was the chosen impregnator-to-be they’d find a way to take it out without being seen.
A big problem came up at once because Nancy said that she wasn’t ever too sure about distinguishing left from right and after thinking for a while Anna told her that they could get around that if, when they were in the van, as long as one of them was sure of their antagonist’s identity she could signal the other one as to what action to take.
They made an appointment with their gynecologist and a few days later they both had their internal barriers to hand.
Their idea about the one informing the other proved to be too difficult to use in practice because in the van Anna couldn’t possibly forecast who was going to succeed with getting his finger into her first, and thus lay claim to her favors for the ultimate act, because sometimes, no matter how involved she was with one guy, a hand would reach across and its middle finger would pin her and establish its claim and so she couldn’t ever be completely sure about the identity of her seed-donor-to-be which was, clearly, unconscionable.
They did a whole of pondering on what might work.
It was again Anna who thought up a way to solve their predicament and she went down to her basement and found two table-tennis balls and she put them into a chiffon scarf and arranged them just so and they both practiced feeling them up gently and ‘weighing’ them, under the table using the other one’s groin area, until they could both readily tell which one of the balls was hanging lowest.
Nancy reluctantly came to the conclusion that this was the right time to tell Anna about the twins’ deceptive practice on Sundays and from her reaction she knew that she had been right to not tell her about it before because she got really angry at the treacherousness of her husband even though she’d willingly let his brother fuck her in the van over and over by then.
Nancy shuddered to think what Anna would have done if she’d told her when she’d first found out about it.
She gave her time to come to terms with the knowledge and she saw in her face that she was going through the same turmoil that she herself had gone through on the day that she’d discovered the nasty trick. And then, when Anna suddenly gasped and blushed and put her hand over her mouth, Nancy figured that she hadn’t been the only one who had been giving her husband something extra on his birthday and on special occasions and it came to her again that while twins understandably share the same inclinations they also share good ways to get to indulge them.
She went over and held Anna’s head against her belly and stroked her cheek until she calmed a little and she said, to share her pain, “I looked up some old calendars and in the last two years there were no holidays at all on Sundays but, as you know as well as I do, last year their birthday did fall on that day. I’m guessing that you two do it in the Grecian Formula way too on his birthdays and holidays. Right?”
They then did some crying and a lot of cussing and Anna said, “It really is too much. Men get everything their way in this man’s world and now our two are getting away with betrayal as well.”
When they had at last bowed to reality and had philosophically shrugged their shoulders after accepting that what was done was done and had faced up to the fact that all alternatives to accepting the status quo were exercises in futility they turned back to the all important problem at hand.
Anna solved Nancy’s problem of not being able to tell left from right by suggesting that she should always wear a bracelet on her right wrist on Sundays after church and, although it would always be reasonable to suppose that it was Peter who was with her, to be absolutely sure that it was indeed him – she didn’t have to be reminded what making even one mistake might bring – she was to find a way to see or to feel his balls before he got into bed because after that he’d quickly close with her and he’d get hard and the two of them would have drawn themselves up and the only certain way to tell his identity would be temporarily unavailable.
If she saw or felt that the lowest ball of the guy she was with was nearest to the thumb on the hand that was cupping them and that had the bracelet on it then she’d know that he was the one whose semen shouldn’t have its journey cruelly blocked. When she was sure about that she was to find an unobserved couple of seconds before the action got fairly started to pull out her diaphragm and then hide it.
Because it was already September by then they agreed to give up on trying to find a good way to get around the difficulties that the van caused and to keep their diaphragms in place both at home and for the rest of the time that they were going to be out camping on the weekends and then use the brothers long established strategies against them when their Sunday morning shenanigans started up again.
They felt wonderful knowing that the con men were going to be conned.
* * *
Keith’s company finally went public and when the smoke had cleared his options were worth four million odd dollars and after the mandatory year had gone by, to comply with company policy, he sold three million dollar’s worth of them and he put a half of the money in a bank account that he opened to be ready to deal with the IRS’s onslaughts. He’d done that because they had once hounded him unmercifully for less than two thousand dollars at a time when he didn’t have it and it had taken a long time and had caused him much frustration before it had been cleared up.
He bought his father the Cadillac that he’d always wanted and could have easily afforded to buy for himself but couldn’t see his way to paying as much for one car that would buy three of the ones – Cutlass Supremes or Tauruses and the like – that he’d been driving all his life. He bought his mother a Mini-Cooper because whenever she saw one on the road she’d stop talking and she’d sigh audibly and would stare at it and wouldn’t say another word until it had gone out of sight. He bought a standard model for her, off the dealer’s lot, because he knew well that if he’d told her that it had a V-8 in it, or that it had an extra motor in the trunk, she would have said to either or both, “Ooh! Isn’t that nice. Thank you, dear. I love it.”
He paid off both his own mortgage and his brother’s and he bought a five acre lot that overlooked their favorite fishing spot and he called in an Architect to draw up plans for an unpretentious country cottage that had four bedrooms of which two, the master ones, were identical and were situated in their own wing and were separated by two bathrooms that were accessible from both bedrooms.
* * *
They gave a house warming party the week after the cottage got finished and one of their guests – she’d married a colleague of Peter’s – asked Anna what were the names of her and her sister-in-law’s children.
“Well, Nancy had two boys first and the oldest one is Kevin – he’s the one who just asked you if he could try out his doctor kit on you – and the other one is Kyle – that’s him over there, the one who’s dismembering that expensive doll that a grandparent brought as a present for one of his cousins – and her daughter, her youngest, is named Patricia and she’s the one who is going around collecting empty cups and snack dishes to take them to the kitchen to put in the dishwasher.
“I have two girls called Paula and Pamela – they’re both over there taking turns to try to keep that fractious baby amused – and my son, the youngest one, is named Kenneth and he’s the one on the carpet who is going to cry the house down around two minutes from now when he mashes his thumb with the hammer that he’s using to try to break the wooden Frontier Fort that took his father close to three hours to put together from a kit.
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